by Viktor Tejada

When I was a little boy, I always knew that someone out there in this world is enjoying the pain that they are currently faced with, whether they know it or not. I never really understood how the world works way back in the day and even up to now, I still do not understand it. All I knew as a kid up until this very day is that everything is possible – that some men prefer men, that time travel really is possible (we just haven’t tapped into the Speed Force yet), and that some people really find pleasure in pain.

Why is it that they find enjoyment in pain? In drama? Is it because it can also serve as a statement that something is happening in one’s life? That one is actually “going through something”? Or are they really just suffering and nothing more? For a huge fraction of my teenage years, I was plagued by insecurity, anxiety, fucking unrequited love, and a truckload of misery. What a wonderful thing to be felt by a youngster, yes? Although right now, as I sit on this cheap stool and being eighteen, I look back whether I really felt sad back then, or if I fell in love with the feeling of feeling sad. Am I really in pain, or am I finding pleasure in it?