Sometimes, Most Days

by Viktor Tejada

Sometimes, I don’t know myself
Sometimes, I don’t know what to do
Most days, I lay awake in bed
Most days, all I do is think of you

Dear god, where are you?
Earth “gods,” she loves you
Though who am I to speak,
When all I speak is the unspoken truth

What good are the ugly
If we all live in a world
Where the truth is upsetting
And appearance is king

I don’t know anymore
And I didn’t know ever since
I’m just an insecure little boy
Who fought a fight he couldn’t win

So go if you want
And leave if you please
Just don’t come back crying
If this would all repeat

I’ve been living life in a cycle
Same wants and same needs
I just want to disappear
And the scent of death reappears

And I know that I am selfish
But know I also bleed
The thought of self harm
Happens more than it should seem

This poem is shit
And no, this ain’t a gem
I am showing my weakness
To show you who I really am

And who I am is close to death

Sometimes, I don’t know myself
Sometimes, I don’t know what to do
Most days, I lay awake in bed
Thinking if I could still spend some days with you

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